It seems that I am still a member of the Democratic Unionist Party, which I thought I had left years ago. Until I received a phone call asking if I would like to attend a North Down meeting on the 27th October (which dear reader also happens to be my birthday) as there is a selection meeting for those wanting to stand for the Assembly. This little nugget gives me the opportunity to raise all sort's of mischief, which I might just follow through with.




Eg...




I could as a member propose a motion that this particular branch sends a letter to the Chief Executive of the Party proposing a vote of NO CONFIDENCE in Peter Robinson as leader and requesting that he step down from the leadership at once.



Deliver a stirring speech on why the DUP will fail to make any headway among t the more secular people of NI




Question the candidates on the impartiality. I am very tempted to do this. The last time I went to one of these meetings was when I was a member of the Narnia Branch of the DUP and sat in the office almost violently nodding my head in approval of the candidates.



Moving on....



Ah Trevor Ringland has left the UUP. Thanks be to God. A man that believes it is necessary for Unionists to continually make token gestures rather than standing their ground. He may have done Stirling work in the cross community game, but so have a lot of people and it's hardly like it's a badge of honor. I mean could you imagine if someone in Sinn Fein demanded that Gerry Adams as leader of a Republican party attended a Linfield match at Windsor Park? No neither can I.



The end of the Child benefit for a single parent earning more than £40,000 a year. I welcome this particular cut by the Conservative Chancellor, however, if both parents are earning £40,000 each (a household with an income of £80,00) then they still get the child benefit. I ask you is that fair? Plus it's actually going to save the Treasury a billion quid. That's not a lot really when you think about it.



I am currently reading the "Rise and Fall of the Third Reich", an epic narrative history on that particular part of German History. Needless to say it is full of ideas of what to do in a recession.



Did anyone see David Starkey on Question Time last Thursday Night? Playing the Gay Card for the Conservative party? It was pitiful but then Starkey himself is a bit of a Bigot, an English Bigot if you can believe it. So he plays the Gay card to prove that he is not stereotypical in that respect. Brian Cox on the other hand was fantastic.

The meanderings of the great philosphical river that is the mind of the unemployed man.

I thought perhaps the titile of this note was somewhat lacking a more subtle title would have been "My boy treat the world as your ash tray", however, I suspect that this crude yet colourfull title would have left the reader baffled. For those of you not in the know, I have joined the ranks of the uemployed and for the first time in my life went to the dole office to speak to a rather bizzare civil serpent who was at first very keen that I should claim (what I believe is mine by right, given that I have fallen on hard times and the amount of money that has been taken out of my pocket in any institution that I have worked in, all in the vain glorious title of tax), although he then changed his tune and stated that Imay not be entilted to anything. I have an appointment soon with another of his brood to discuss what I can lay my hands. It is my intention to go for everything I can. I have also returnned to my homestead of East Belfast and as I have an amazing amout of time on my hands these days, I have started to do two things on a regular basis, firstly I spend the idle hours walking or rather dandering/exploring the East of the city. A rather mundane task I hear you say, but not so, I have learnt quite alot about the area I am from and indeed some of the more interesting elements of her people and for some odd reason her street names. Secondly I have started to read with a vengence again. Laying aside anything theological I have put my mind into history and politics, but not that of this Island which to be frank, is rather boring. Although in the interest of being cross community I buy both the "Irish News" and the "Belfast Telegraph", which I now read everyday. The reason for this resurgence in my reading and learning is simple, I no longer have acess on a regular basis to the mind melting world of Facebook. It started as a pain but then I realised that it was only a good thing.







Thoughts on what's been going on around here...







Well suffice it to say the election of Tom Elliott as leader of the Ulster Unionist party has somewhat been usurped by the election of that darling little Jewish boy Ed Milliband as leader of the Labour Party. I welcome the election of Ed but I am somewhat conflicted by the Trade Union support. I have a conflicted view of the Trade Unions, this is mostley due to their behaviour in Northern Ireland. Today for example, in one of my many walk abouts of Belfast I happened to see the great bastion of the worker holding a demonstration outside Belfast City Hall. A lot of bolshie nonsensical rubbish about protesting the cuts. It's akin methinks to Captain Smith protesting Icebergs. As I am now in the situation of being unemployed I fully emphasize with the unemployed working man and I am quite sure that he and I are disgusted at the great and the good of the public sector demanding as they do. In fact my bone of contention is when they suggest that they will not accept a freeze in thier wages. Funny? You would have thoought in these harsh economic times that the fact that wages where being recieved in the first place would have been a plus? I don't pretend to know anything about economics, indeed I find it the most boring of anything related to both the state and politics. Perhaps I should stopreading Hagel and Nicheze on the subject but nonetheless I think this point against the Unions is one that the media seems to be ignoring.







I seem to ramble don't I? Anyway back on topic, Tom Elliott elected leader of the UUP, first of all I wish him well and despite the media claiming that he is a bigot. The word bigot is tossed about a lot these days I find. A nasty word. Fair play to him for sticking to his beliefs. Why would you go to something your no interested in? I mean I don't have and interest in golf so I will not be going to celtic mannor for the Ryder Cup. I don't see what type of tokenish gesture this would prove. As for Trevor Ringland? Middle Class arse, is the phrase that springs to mind. I don't doubt his Unionist credentials but I still think he is an arse, which reminds me I have no interest in Rugby so I won't be going to Ravenhill anytime soon.







So you can see my point.







As regards the Papal visit, well done to all involved although the exclusion of Northern Irish school childeren from an aduienece with the Papa is something to be frowned upon. It reminds me of when the Irish Catholic Bishops refused to accept the Goverment of Northern Irelands Education department. They changed their tune when Dublin refused to give them punts for their schools. Aside from that the Papal visit was an excellent display of tradition and liturgy and it still proves the addagehat Rome puts on the best show in town. Benedict I confess came across as tthe typical grandfather and I am sure that all the British Catholics enjoyed it. Archbishop Nichols still makes me shudder. I can't think why though.







Although I must say that the rabid indignation shown by people of my ilk was downright disgracefull. The best thing that we coud have done, was simply to ignore it. The snub by Marty and Robbo was also a disgrace.







Returnning back to the murkey depths of my river...







I was rather delighted to discover that the old sterotyping still goes on in Northern Irish society, not the secterian bleather but the class bleather. I have taken to wearing casual sportswear purley because I like it and perhaps it could be described as a fetish, and I have discovered that attitudes change particulary in the bank and other bastions of the middle class. The look I recieved from a member of the Nationwide in Belfast when I went to lodge a complaint (I shall not go into details as the issue is still being delt with) was akin to how an SS officer might have regarded a slav. The woman (already as she is a female I hold her in utter contempt) was soon put in her place when I charmerd her with all the academic chit chat that one would ascribe to an Oxford Don. Even people in the street, those of the buisness class, give one the look of disgust. So the old class system is still alive and well in Belfast.







I shall return soon enough with another epic contemplation, as I have not covered it all, I shall let ye digest this one first before I bang on.

The Ulster Unionist leadership debacle.

I know that members of the UUP will be somewhat bewildered as to why a non-party member would critique the two members standing for the leadership, as an outsider however, I do not have such a blighted vision of what the future holds for that once great party.
In my humble view the two dullards standing can be described as "the carrot" and "the stick", McCrea is certainly the carrot, and Elliott the stick. I shall now take time to examine boththe "personalities", (you can almost feel the sarcasim dripping of my fingers as I just typed that word).


"The Carrot"


Well judging from his recent conference where he launched his bid, I can't see how he is progressive at all. Surrounded by beauty, wealth, and splendour of the Merchant Hotel he exclaims that he will do all he can to stop the cabal that runs "the sticks's" bid for the leadership. I am gratified to learn this. If he is going to make sweeping reforms in that party then I welcome it, but I think that he is just saying it for effect. He has some sense of morality, it would appear, given that he will reject a ministerial post in the Assembly whilst leader, unless it is as FM. You would think that this would be a great choice for the leadership, however, no pacts with other parties. So the Union really is not in his heart it's pure party politics, which is one of the main problems with Unionism at this moment in time. To much in fighting and to much of it done in the public gaze. Perchance that is why young Basil want's to introduce "robust party discipline". Mild progression but not enought.

"The Stick"

Tom Elliott or Craigavon reborn as I am sure he would prefer to be called is as I say an old school Unionist with all the trappings that would make the most loyal Ulsterman moist with pleasure. He is a membeer of the Royal Black Institution and thus defacto the Orange Order, he was a former member of the UDR. His major flaws are that he seeks to retain the link with the tories (thus alienating a significant proportion of Loyalists who do not seek to sleep in Thatchers old bed), he refuses outright an alliance with the DUP. Why? It's not on ideological grounds that's for sure, it's all about "jobs for the boys", we don't want to give up our postions etc...

Conclusion,

Neither of these men in my view deserve to be the successor of Carson. Neither reach out of the bubble. None have preached diversity, none have tried to reach out beyond the Protestant pale, and if this contiunes we will be saying RIP UUP. The UUP have a chance to be a great beacon of the Unionist ideal, if only they would seek to establish a more diverse party and certainly one that is attractive to the average Joe Bloggs rather than the coperate money makers and the middle class lackies. Certainly if they contiune to coat tail the Tory Party they will not make a significant gain in this provence.

The Film Legion

Well what can one say... Although the film, I hold in utter contempt because of the failure of a decent plot, I think I may be in love with the Angel portrayed. This particular angel reminds me of the beautifull windows in some of the Anglican chapels. As a youngster I would oft gaze at the supreme beauty of the angelic beings in those windows. In my formative years I realized that such beauty was inspired from the talent of man and not some Divine spark. Still though I should very much hope that these creatures do happen to exsist, judge for yourself in this picture....

http://www.wallpaper4me.com/resize_wallpaper.php?id=3362

John Paul II Saint or sinner

I have been thinking of recent about the late Holy Father, Blessed John Paul II. My mind is somewhat conflicted regarding his tenure as pontiff. It has been said by those who have never read past the "The Roman Observer", that he was a great man who did stirling work against Communism in Eastern Europe. However, reading outside the pale there is more to this Sainted figure than meets the eye. Some people who read this note will think that I am on some anti-catholic rant, I can assure the more sensative among you that that is not the case at all. I do recognise that there is truth that he did good work amongst the so called laity but there are some underlying critiques that have failed to be either put forward or indeed challanged. In this short article I intend to put forward some of these concerns and ask you, the reader, what do you think.


During the occupation of Poland by Nazi Germany it has been said by Catholic biographers that along with the rest of the Polish people, the late Pope was forced to work as slave labour in the quarry industry. Yet it transpires that He had somehwhat an exaulted exsistance, he worked, yes, in a chemical plant, for the infamous "I.G Farben Chemical Companey", that made "Zyklon B", this information is not the ramblings of a demented bigot, this information comes from US Intelligence.

His support of Archbishop Paul Marcinkus, this is cause for alarm giving this particular charcaters shifty dealings within the Vatican bank. We must ask ourseleves two questions,

1)Was he aware?

2) Why did he not act against the Mafias favorite Bishop?

I think the answer to the first is linked to the answer to the second. The Pope is rather like the manager or chairman and overall head of a large coperate body, to suggest that he was unaware of investments in such things as the contraceptive pill, is rather foolish. It is like the manager of a Bank not knowing to where his money is being invested. He did not act because surley it was not in the best interests of such a lucrative "deal". Paul was a money maker and his fingers where in many pies, some of those pies where off, given that they where both illegal and anti Catholic doctrine.

A rather odd thing in relation to Ireland in particular, the elevation to the sacred college of Tomás Ó Fiaich and thus Primate of all Ireland. When the previous incumbant of the throne of Peter, John Paul I heard that Tomas was put forward to be the head of Irish Catholics he said "Ireland deserves better", how profund and how right he was. Tomas showed no tact when dealing with the situation of the conflict in Ulster, he unwavering support for terrorism goes against traditional Catholic teaching.

We are oft told that Papa defeated communism in the Eastern Bloc, that he helped there can be no doubt. However, what did he do against the Juntas in South America, Peron and Penocet come to mind. The disturbing events surrounding the murder of Archbishop Oscar Romero deserve mention at this point,

The church was being persecuted in El Salvador, this Bishop spoke openly against the regieme and wrote to John Paul II asking him to shepard his sheep. Just as Pius did during the second world war, John Paul II was silent.

Why was he silent? Simply that the Vatican frowned upon Romero's liberation theology. When the Archbishop was killed whilst serving mass, the Pontiff was silent.

These are but a few things that I have read about and I ask, now that he has ascended to the choir invisable, are they a stain on his chracter? Or should it be swept under the carpet and never brought to light?

It's not an attack on the Roman Catholic church, although I don't think any institution is above critique particulary not the Roman Magesterium.

Viscount BallyRobert steps out...

For those not in the know, this week in the most British Democratic Nation of Ulsteria was the 12th of July celebrations. A day when the masses rejoice for the freedom enshrined by the defeat of the Jacobite James, by the Dutch William of Orange. A jubulant time, when everyone of all classes remembers the end to the Divine Right of Kings, the introduction of a constitutional monarchy and teh distruction of the ambitious French Frog.

One was there, in the traditional dress of an Ulster Scotts Lord (or failing that a Baron), observing the great and the good. I had a rather good time, taken away at half time for a few liquid libations and a conversation on the resurection of my class...

Gaze humble reader on the Rt Hon Viscount BallyRobert, Lord of Ava, Duffrin and Clandeboye...

Summer Sermon

by the Rt Rev Methusalea Williamson, BD (Hons), MA, Bth

Matthew 5:5 "Blessed are the meek"

Today I want to speak to you on what it means to be meek and mild in this haughty world of ours. There is in my view, a lack of meekness with men and to a lesser extent women in this world. All to often it seems, that people have become obssesed with more and more comforts and to use the venacular "mod cons". Be it their televisions, Freezers, wall to wall carpets, central heating etc etc. There is a distinct lack of meekness and more importantley there is a distinct lack of self suffering. For if it was up to me we should all go back to the good old days where salvation was brought about by the infliction of suffering. Why? Simply that it keeps us meek and as we are told the meek shall inheriate the earth. I myself have a rigorus programme of abstaining from all worldly things including the self indulgence of a bath. Make no mistake washing is the work of the devil and brings about us the sin of pride. Pride of being clean and thus bringing on an even worse sin, the sin of self love. For make no mistake, we are in a constant battle within ourselves. If we loose this battle then we will perish.

Therefore we must live as the Saints of old, dirty, feckless and yet prepared to do what needs to be done. When it is done then we can rejoice because by that stage we will be dead. For make no bones about it, despite what many a cleric will tell you, their is no salvation without suffering. I give you an example from my own exsistance...

I awake at 05:00 and have a glass of water followed by dried quaker oats, this is enough to suffice any grown man for the rest of the day. Then it's over to the church for the polishing of the bell ends. This takes up a great deal of my time, sometimes I have to rub for hours but I know that they will be fitting for the most High when done. Then it's down to the local public washrooms to clense myself and missionary work. I do not eat lunch but save myself for dinner witch is normally boiled rubarb washed down with a glass of sparkling Lucozade (I indulge that vice as no man is perfect). There is no fornication, fornication is from the devil and Mrs Williamson are proud to say that we have only indulged once in our 47 years of marriage. Fornication leads to other things, swinging etc.. All through the day I am suffering and I am meek for it.

I encourage you all to follow this example, I know that many of you will not be able to polish my bell end but perhaps you could substitute something of equal worth, an antique candle stick holder if you own such a thing. Work,and suffer and keep yourselves pure.

All Sing

"Oh God our help in ages Past"